No, this is not goodbye to blogger. After a tumultuous two, or so, years, I have decided to blog again.
So I guess it is kinda fitting to start up again with a goodbye.
One of my very good Saudi male friends has gotten married. This means that he is not allowed to have any female friends. After worrying and stressing about him for about a month, I mailed him and he gave me both shocks at once. Anyways, I had just read hnings post on 'breaking up smooth' and decided to use that as some inspiration for the following goodbye letter (edited version):
"I guess congratulations are in order, and I hope everything works out for you, I really do. I cant seem to feel like Ive been short-changed somehow, because it should be the happiest time of your life, and even then, the one person who will always have your best interests at heart (Im referring to me, silly, not YOU!) cant even be there for you when things get tough. Im kinda glad ur living the 'Saudi Dream' (arranged marriage, living with parents, and ur wifes probably pregnant by now, too) even though its a choice I wouldnt easily make for myself, or anyone I really cared about, but eventually, we all do as the Romans do and take our chances at a shot for a happy life.
Not everyone has the chance to be 'Lamya' and screw the world and find our own way, no matter who says what.. sometimes the best and most honourable fight is just to be where we are and make the best of it. Give it all you've got, because without you, someone wudnt have a person to wake up next to in the morning. Someone wouldnt have been able to look at their son with pride and say, he's married to so-and-so's daughter. Without you, a wedding wouldnt have existed, two families wouldnt have come together, and without your contribution, Saudi ways would wither and die..And somehow, your wired to fit right in..
So Im proud of you for fighting the fight I was too much of a coward to face, for settling in and taking the good and the bad with it..
I think that no matter how long or short this email is, or how Ive tried to hide it, Im feeling a little heartbroken, and quite a bit sad. You've been a huge part of my life, and Im reluctant to say goodbye, but in parting.. just remember that the breakup of a friendship like ours is not the end of future involvements, not the end of respect and kindness for each other. This breakup is an acknowledgment of unconditional love, no matter what the time and place may be.
Have a good life. "
Yeah. Welcome back to Lamya's World
Coming up: 'Escaping the World Cup in South Africa'
11 comments:
damn thats kinda deep... its funny how the start of one relationship ends another, even though they're not really 'replacing' each other.
even though, i thought it was a man's world in saudi. I assumed the man could continue being friends with whoever, and the girl would have to stop. either way, i dont think i could fit into society there... hell, i dont fit into society here either..
oh, and goodbye, welcome back :p
feb 2009! been a while
Hey Ammaro..
Yeah Ive turned kinda deep. Life perhaps. And maybe too much apple juice.
Actually this relationship is not one thats been replaced with another, his wife is not comfortable with him having female friends. More's the pity, as having female friends can sometimes save a guy from making horrible mistakes (like forgetting an anniversary)..lol..
As for being a misfit..welcome to the club. Im a misfit, and Im proud of it :)!!
Hollaaa :)
HIIII! Welcome back. You've been missed!
That's definitely a sucky situation for two friends to be put into. I know quite a few people that had to go through the same "Hey, I'm getting married now, so we can't be friends anymore since you're of the opposite sex" thing. :( If I were him, and you wrote me that letter, I would have cried, not even going to lie. :|
But who knows, maybe after they've been married for a while, she'll ease up a bit about him having female friends? Anything is possible...Don't stop believing~ :-p
Hey taqobell!! Welcome :) i hope he cried, at least a little manly tear.. :( anyways. Ive made peace with him leaving my life, u kno what they say.. Some friends are for a reason, others for a season.. And ive found the very few very rare ones who are for a lifetime. Still sucks tho.
not judging, but ive seen relationships where the other party is too jealous dont always end up happy. they either separate or they end up cheating on each other, sadly enough. one party always wants the freedom it once had; sure they can hold up things for a while, but not too long
I completely agree with you ammaro, but isnt jealousy and possessiveness ingrained into the Arab psyche? Probably something primal like.. 'this my tent'..'that your tent'.. Lol
Seriously though, at which point does 'self' cease to matter? And at which point does the search for 'self' once again become so important that nothiing else seems to exist?
It's sad that your friendship had to end, but I'm sure it's for the best.
Here's hoping your other friends will last longer.
*clinks glasses* thanks Ness! Cheers ;)
*gulps down yoghurt smoothie*
what did the dude say in reply?
Nada Hning.. Absolutely NADA.. I guess I attached more value to this friendship than he ever did.. C'est la vie though, right?
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